Change Beliefs => Change Actions

An example

In my prior three commentaries (here, here, and here), I’ve written about the many everyday Beliefs we all have and their extreme importance. Since some of this is necessarily a bit abstract, I’ll provide a real-world example that shows how some conflicts can be easily resolved…

Several years ago I volunteered to teach a once-a-week religion night school class, sponsored by our Church. The students were high school kids who attended a nearby public school. Exciting, right? There were 15 to 20 attendees each week, and we covered a wide variety of topics.

One night, one of the girls (let’s say her name was Jill), asked me this question:

“Mr. Droz, I have a sister about two years younger than I am, and I love her dearly. However, she has one habit that I find extremely annoying! When I’m not home, and without asking she takes clothes from my closet. I’ve discussed it with her, complained to her, threatened her, etc., but all to no avail. How do I get her to stop, as this is ruining our relationship?”

[Note: Jill’s initial Belief is that her sister is an insensitive, inconsiderate person.]

In reply, I offered two thoughts…

“Jill, one way to look at this is that your sister thinks you have exquisite taste that she wants to emulate. She has put you on a pedestal, and borrowing some of your clothes, makes her feel older and more sophisticated. Why not build on the fact that she looks up to you, and offer to go shopping with her? If you look at it that way, maybe you wouldn’t get upset?”

[Note: Jill’s new Belief is that her sister thinks she is the cat’s meow. Every time she borrows something, it’s really a sincere compliment.]

“Another thought is this. Let’s say that one day you come home from school and your mom takes you aside. She says: ‘Jill, we just came back from the doctor’s office. Your sister was diagnosed with cancer and only has two months to live.’

“Then you go to your room and find that your sister has taken one of your best outfits. What is your reaction to that going to be? Will you be angry and annoyed?”

[Note: Jill’s second new Belief is that there are more important things in life than whether her sister takes some of her clothes without permission.]

After giving these some thought Jill thanked me and said that the problem was now resolved. Three observations:

1 - This solution did not involve Jill’s initial request “How do I get my sister to stop?” Rather it was a change of perspective (Beliefs) on Jill’s part that did the trick.

2 - Both of my two thoughts involved using an analogy. Why analogies (stories) are powerful is that they are a proven and effective means of communicating with another person’s subconscious mind.

3 - By adopting either (or both) of the above two new Beliefs, Jill has new options for more effectively dealing with her sister. She may no longer even care whether her clothes are borrowed, but if she does, her chances of fixing that are improved.

Takeaway

Applying some Critical Thinking about your Beliefs (their accuracy, applicability, etc.) is a worthwhile expenditure of your time, and can be very rewarding...

PS — Upcoming commentaries will be about wind energy, private property rights, social justice, etc…

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Here are other materials by this scientist that you might find interesting:

Check out the Archives of this Critical Thinking substack.

WiseEnergy.org: discusses the Science (or lack thereof) behind our energy options.

C19Science.info: covers the lack of genuine Science behind our COVID-19 policies.

Election-Integrity.info: multiple major reports on the election integrity issue.

Media Balance Newsletter: a free, twice-a-month newsletter that covers what the mainstream media does not do, on issues from COVID to climate, elections to education, renewables to religion, etc. Here are the Newsletter’s 2024 Archives. Please send me an email to get your free copy. When emailing me, please make sure to include your full name and the state where you live. (Of course, you can cancel the Media Balance Newsletter at any time - but why would you?

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