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Christy's avatar

So good! Now if we can help Americans do this as we celebrate 250 years!

JYThorn's avatar

The crumbling of empires is mirrored in its decline in civility. We seem increasingly unable to disagree without contempt, correct wrongdoing without cruelty, or defend our convictions without trying to humiliate someone. Courtesy, restraint, modesty, gratitude, and respect for others are too often treated as signs of weakness rather than evidence of character.

Abigail Adams wrote, “If we mean to have Heroes, Statesmen and Philosophers, we should have learned women.” She understood the tremendous influence women have upon the moral and intellectual character of a society. Women help shape homes, children, communities, and future generations—not because this is their only possible role, but because it is an enormously important one.

I have been reflecting upon my own generation. In my youth, I wanted to outman any man. Annie Get Your Gun’s “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” was almost a girlhood mantra for me. Women rightly sought education, opportunity, independence, and recognition of our abilities. I remain grateful for those freedoms.

Yet somewhere along the way, our pursuit of equality sometimes became confused with the idea that men and women must imitate, compete with, or diminish one another. Too often, society has devalued fatherhood, motherhood, fidelity, modesty, spiritual leadership, and the daily sacrifices required to build a stable family. We now see some men withdrawing from the traditional responsibilities of fatherhood, protection, provision, and spiritual guidance, while some women are encouraged to measure liberation by how publicly they can discard modesty or imitate the worst behavior once associated with men.

Equality should never have required either sex to abandon dignity, responsibility, or the qualities that allow men and women to strengthen one another.

Where did we go wrong? Perhaps we began confusing freedom with freedom from all restraint, confidence with aggression, equality with sameness, and personal fulfillment with freedom from obligation. We taught people to claim their rights, but not always to honor their duties. We weakened the institutions that once taught self-control, service, reverence, and accountability, and then seemed surprised when loneliness, disorder, and incivility followed.

The part of this article that spoke most strongly to me was the picture of people sitting together, sharing food, singing familiar songs, and rediscovering community. We need more experiences that bring people together—not to exclude or condemn others, but to restore fellowship, gratitude, responsibility, faith, and mutual understanding.

A healthy civilization needs honorable men and honorable women. It needs fathers and mothers who understand that raising children is sacred work. It needs adults willing to model the civility, discipline, courage, and kindness that we hope the next generation will inherit. <><

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