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Van Snyder's avatar

When you give a command to your dog, he might wonder "why?" but doesn't have the vocal apparatus, and maybe not the intellectual capacity to ask, or dispute. Kids are the same way, but they soon enough become old enough to ask "why?" without having the intellectual capacity to understand the reasons and the interactions between them. So, at early ages "because I said so" is fine.

When Sputnik was launched, I was ten years old. My dad tried to explain why it didn't fall down. I didn't have the intellectual capacity to understand his explanation, and if I had insisted on him going into detail I would have become confused instead of enlightened. He could have expounded at length about conservation of momentum and energy, but I had no idea what those were, and it took years to come to understand them. He eventually settled on "because it's going fast, and the Earth is round, it's continually falling around the Earth instead of down onto it." There are things you simply cannot learn in one evening because understanding them requires already having learned other things. Same with kids on many other topics. Eventually on many topics, instead of "because I said so" my dad would say "when you know a few more things I can explain why." At early ages "because I said so" was fine.

John implicitly posed the question "where and when do parents learn how to be parents?" In rural agrarian societies where nearly everybody had the same job, and they all had to work together, adults and children, just to survive, they learned from each other. And they all went to church and learned from the church elders — some of whom had really bad ideas but mostly they were good. We don't have that situation any more, so we depend upon our schools, which are too busy ruining society to preserve it.

Linda's avatar

John, I find it ironic that a person who promotes critical thinking would find "because I said so" an acceptable answer to a young child. As a parent, I made sure not to resort to that. At the minimum, I would rather respond "because you are the child and I am the parent". I think it's a better implication in avoiding the child's thought of "you're not the boss of me" tendency.

Your answer to Q1 misses the foundational question of WHO is asking? and WHY? Those questions have to be posed and answered prior to your answers. Young children have a sense of wonder and this is when "there is a God" should be taught. IMHO. Also, God bless you as #1 child of a large family, you won the "help the parents raise the others" slot

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