Critically Thinking about Relationships

From Acquaintances to Kindred Spirits, Body-mates to Soul-mates

The breadth and depth of human relationships is fascinating.

These are some of my insights on a topic relevant to everyone. Full disclosure: I am a scientist, a practicing Christian, have been married 50± years, am very selective with friendships, etc., etc… I’m not a psychologist — but maybe that’s a good thing.

I’m a student of business relationships: sales strategies (e.g., NLP) and public relations. These are a subset of all human relationships.

For this commentary, let’s just consider neutral to positive, personal relationships (skipping over negative or business connections).

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ALL relationships involve a combination of head and heart. In other words, there are both intellectual and emotional connections. It’s not possible for there to be equality between these, so it gets complicated (and interesting) as to which predominates. It seems to me that as personal relationships get better, the heart part expands.

My suggested arrangement of personal relationships, from basic to best, would be something like this (note: an individual can be in 2+ categories):

1- Acquaintance [A person you have a nominal connection with, who you see infrequently — e.g., a neighbor who you rarely cross paths with.]

2- Associate [An individual you have a some basic connection with, who you see more frequently — e.g., the secretary in your office.]

3- Body-mate [Someone you have a physical attraction to, and have had sex with — e.g., a casual hookup.]

4- Relative [An individual you have a biological or legal connection with — e.g., a sibling, or a mother-in-law.]

5- Friend [A person you have some commonalities with, and who you have had some personal communications with — e.g., a classmate.]

6- Child to Parent

7- Kindred Spirit [Someone you have several shared interests with, who you have had multiple communications with, and who you have some respect for — e.g., a close friend.]

8- Kindred Spirit with benefits

9- Parent to Child

10-Spouse [A person you married, who you share multiple common interests, who has common values, and who you have genuine respect for — e.g., a husband.]

11-Soul-mate [An individual you have mental, spiritual and emotional intimacy with, who you share common values with, and who you have great respect for — e.g., a BFF.]

12-Soul-mate with benefits

If I’ve missed any important positive relationships, please let me know…

[Note: I did not use the word “love” in any of these categories, as this important word has been abused and diluted — e.g., as in “to make love.”]

Positive relationships exist when it is pleasurable to be in the company of another. In other words communicating with (or being with) such a person is rewarding.

In this light, a positive relationship will more likely blossom when the parties have shared interests, beliefs, and values. We are instinctively attracted to a person who we have these commonalities with, as there is a lower likelihood of conflict.

In the same vein it follows that a better relationship will develop when you are associating with a positive, upbeat person, as it’s hard to enjoy being with a persistently negative or complaining individual.

An important point is that a genuine positive relationship will not exist unless there is reciprocity — and the more the better. Another interesting variable is: as the levels of personal relationship increase, so does the level of mutual respect.

An interesting detail about relationships is that the higher the level you are at with someone, the higher the standards you instinctively expect of them. For example, if an acquaintance makes a dumb political point, you would likely just dismiss it. But if a spouse says the exact same thing, it would likely precipitate a strong discussion.

Regretfully our secular society is sending messages that are often counterproductive to productive personal relationships. For example, instant gratification is prioritized over long term success and happiness. So, don’t buy what they’re selling you…

The sound-bite takeaways here are…

a) Interpersonal relationships can be complicated.

b) For relationships to improve, it takes time and effort.

c) The holy grail is to find your soul-mates. (Note that there can be more than one!) Having a true soul-mate relationship is one of life’s most exhilarating experiences!

PS — Thanks to the Big Guy I’ve been blessed to have had a few soul-mate bonds. It’s challenging to put strong feelings resulting from such connections into words, music, or videos. That said, here is a fabulous short video that communicates some of what I feel when I’m vibing with a soul-mate. [Make sure to have the audio on, and full screen on your computer (not phone)!]

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Here are other materials by this scientist that you might find interesting:

WiseEnergy.org: discusses the science (or lack thereof) behind our energy options.

C19Science.info: covers the lack of genuine science behind our COVID-19 policies.

Election-Integrity.info: multiple major reports on the election integrity issue.

Media Balance Newsletter: a free, twice-a-month newsletter that covers what the mainstream media does not, on issues from: COVID to climate, elections to education, renewables to religion, etc. Here are the Newsletter’s 2022 Archives. Send me an email to get your free copy. When emailing me, please make sure to include your full name, and the state where you live. (Of course, you can cancel the Media Balance Newsletter at any time - but why would you?)

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